Not really sure how to start with this? So I’ve decided that the best way to make progress is just to start. The words will start to fall into place. These are after all only my thoughts. Said lightly as if thought isn’t everything 🙄.
So “before you quit” seemed appropriate. Many times I’ve wanted to quit. I never quit my mission though. That was tough. What I did quit unfortunately was on myself. You see most people who know me well know me as the guy who is always positive and brave. I’m the guy who’s never down or afraid. That hasn’t always been true though.
Today I’m myself again. Brave (not un-afraid. We’ll get to that soon), happy, peaceful, motivated and smiling while facing challenges head on.
It’s all a process though. A tough one. It takes strength. I think that’s a good word for it? Emotional strength primarily. Even for me who prides himself in being in control of his emotions it was tough. I had to coach myself through it. It’s all a beautiful chaos. Much easier to do the normal thing and avoid the things that cause pain. What fun is that though? What fun is it waking up everyday to an average life that doesn’t satisfy my dreams? I either change my dreams or change my life; right?
I had $24 in my bank account seven days ago. The crazy part is that that was a step up from the previous week! I was sliding around .64 cents to .94 😂. We won’t even get into the weeks before that with the little minus sign in front of the numbers.
Today the company I started with my buddy grossed four thousand dollars. $3,975 to be exact. Now the only reason I say that is for perspective. Granted most of that money is going right back into the business, but that’s more than I made last month. Hell, the past two months combined!
This isn’t the beginning though. Let’s go back three years. Now this is my first time ever publicly sharing this story but for many reasons–it’s time.
April 23, 2016. There I am 27 years old dressed in some very beat up, torn and mildewy smelling whites (or browns in this case cause they were so old.) (whites is a term used to describe a prison uniform in the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. We’ll open that can later.)
So there I am in my dirty uniform in a cell so small I can’t stretch my arms out completely without touching both walls. The bunk has a plastic mat that smells like an old dogs bed, and everything is filthy. Sounds terrible I know. You would think I was miserable–but I wasn’t. I was as happy as I had been in five and a half years. In fact I hadn’t slept I was so happy. And I had a smile on my face from ear to ear. The kind a fat kid has in a candy store 😏.
Why was I so happy? You guessed it: I was getting out! Finally after five and a half years my ticket was pulled and it was time for ol’ Fredo to go back to the world. (World as in be free.) After everything I had been through nothing mattered. All that mattered was that Monday (it was Friday) I would be a free man again. Well mostly free…
Positive vibes for positive minds.