What now?

“Unhappiness isn’t a cause, it’s a result, so the question to ask yourself is: the result of what?”

The secret to getting what you want out of life

Have you ever asked yourself “what now?”

What’s next?

Ever just felt lost or like you should be doing more in life? That you should have accomplished more. If you’re at least 30 years old, I know you know what I’m talking about.

It’s almost like we turn 30 and immediately we’re gifted with lower back pain and imposter syndrome.

We (I say that generally speaking because I know somewhere out there there’s a perfectly well put together and functioning human being without lower back pain or imposter syndrome). We, start to beat ourselves up over what we’ve failed to accomplish thus far.

Just the other day I was learning about Alexander (you know? The great?) And I started to feel like I should be way farther ahead in life than I am because he (Alexander) by the time he was in his thirties had conquered so many countries and expanded an empire and, and, and…

Then I brought myself back, slowed it down a little bit and pointed out one very simple yet important detail–he was born a prince, into a kingdom.

Regardless, that’s just one of many examples of how our minds can go a little crazy and start to make us question our success, value or life choices. Could we be doing better? Probably. Have we made the best choices? Probably not. Good judgement comes from experience though, and experience comes from bad judgement.

Good judgement comes from experience though, and experience comes from bad judgement.

The real power in life (my opinion) comes from being able to look in the mirror and smile, regardless of how many times we have fallen, or how many times we have missed our goals, or not given our best. That’s power. That’s strength.

Inevitably we all eventually ask ourselves the question “what now?”

You’ve either made it to your thirties and you quite haven’t accomplished much as far as a career goes, and your dream car is so fast you haven’t been able to catch it.

or

You graduated high school, went to college, (or went straight to work) got a job and money isn’t the real issue, but now you’re wondering if this is what you want to do for the rest of your life?

We’re either chasing passion, or we’re chasing profit. If we’re lucky our profits will come from our passion. That’s how I ended up here. Writing this blog about communication.

Yes, that’s what this blog is about. Longer than my usual blogs, but it’s just flowing, one word after another.

The main point here is that, unhappiness isn’t a cause, it’s a result, so the question to ask yourself is: the result of what?

“Unhappiness isn’t a cause, it’s a result, so the question to ask yourself is: the result of what?”

What are you unhappy about?

Whatever it is, I’m going to take a lung, be bold and say that it’s confusion that’s causing the unhappiness.

Not knowing what to do or how to do “it”.

The truth of it all is that if the communication isn’t clear, the results wont be either and that’s what leads to us being unhappy, or unsatisfied with any aspect of our life.

We haven’t gotten clear about what we really want.

You don’t know what you want.

That’s it.

Figure that out and life starts happening for you and not to you.

Some people already know what they want. I do this as a profession (help people get clear (verbalize) what they want and then help them get it.

I do it with companies, families and individuals.

And it’s always the same thing–communication.

Communication is more than just what we say to others. It’s our inner dialogue, the conversations we have with ourselves. Do we hype ourselves up, or shoot ourselves down? Are we crystal clear about what we want and going to get it no matter what? Or do we easily get swayed and influenced by the people around us?

Everything rises and falls on communication, and if the vision can’t be communicated clearly the goal will for ever be elusive.

So like I’ve learned in marketing–if you can’t explain what you want to an eight year old in a way where they could explain it to another eight year old and make sense, then what you want really isn’t clear.

So besides that million dollars your thinking you want right now–what else? Or more importantly–how come?

Think of what you want, than ask yourself “how come?”

That’s the secret.

When you can answer that with clarity and confidence, that’s when you can start getting what you want in life. Cause if you can’t get clear on what you want–how will you ever have it?

Clarity is king.

Until the next time…

Seize your power!

Five steps to a happier you

1:smile
2:listen to happy music
3:take time for yourself…

https://youtu.be/n9-McXgOU8k

Hello…is this thing on!?

What a year! I’m the type that really enjoys roller coasters and I have to admit nothing has come close to the drop that 2020 had coming right out of the gates!

I imagine all of us running into 2020 with the “this is my year!” Mantra and none of us saw the cliff right over the hill!

If you’re reading this you made it though. Welcome to the next level.

This happened this year—I went to Disney for the first time and I took a picture that had some meaning to me.

I’m a deep thinker so I often think into things and look for a “lesson” in it.

On my Instagram I wrote a short post about the Play-doh company and how Play-doh the toy came to be.

Right now it’s more about Mr. Potato Head. I think about how he comes apart and can be put back together, and I can’t help but think of us as a people being a lot like a Mr. Potato Head after 2020.

It’s been a stretch and the future is fuzzy at best.

We have the ability to put ourselves back together piece by piece though, and what I think will make us stronger is the people we chose to surround ourselves with.

I hope that you’ll take me with you into the new year. I hope that I will share a message that adds value and contributes in a positive way to your life as you begin to put it back together.

I am committed to the endeavor of spreading positive vibes for positive minds!

For starters I’ve started to learn how to do better online and get the message to more people.

I made my very first YouTube video, and shared the link at the very top of this blog.

In the video I share the “5 steps to a happier you” which I’ll write out briefly here:

1. Smile: Smiling physically helps to put you in a better mental state.

2. Listen to happy music: What we listen to we think about, and what we think about influences our emotions

3. Take time for yourself: To give 100% you have to be at 100%. Take time to recharge your soul.

4. Laugh often: Laughing relaxes the whole body, boosts the immune system, releases endorphins and even burns calories

5. Be active: Emotions are just energy in motion. To change the emotion sometimes all we need to do is change the motion.

If you choose to watch it and have some feedback to offer or simply just like the video I’d be really happy to hear from you.

I hope you bring the new year in strong with a smile on your face and that what ever challenges you face—you never give them the pleasure of seeing you down.

Positive vibes, for positive minds.

Happy new year!

Live on fire!

It all comes back to liking yourself. Your “self”. The inner you. I know so many of us preach that money isn’t happiness. That’s definitely not what I’m preaching! I love money! I think money is an amazing tool and more good people need to be rich!

I think what the quote is getting at is that if it doesn’t set your soul on fire it’s an empty deed and we cant get full off of empty deeds. No matter how many of them you do.

Maybe for you it’s not about money? Maybe for you it’s not about a career or settling down and having a family.

Society will say something about a persons chosen lifestyle regardless. Interesting to note though: society isn’t looking so hot itself, and like in every other aspect of life: we shouldn’t take advice from people who don’t have what we want.

In other words: let society talk. Let others judge. You make the choices that make YOU happy, because at the end of the day no matter what, no matter where, no matter who–you have to live with yourself.

Your tribe will always find you. Even people who like ketchup on their eggs have a group (wink)

P.S. I like ketchup on my eggs! and pineapple on my pizza!!

Positive vibes for positive minds!

The three key things to focus on for success

I think this is a very good way to see success. There are few things that can disrupt a person who has all three of these things.

There have been times in my past where I didn’t like myself very much. The sad part is it wasn’t always so clear. A lot of the times we may think we like ourselves, but you would question that if you saw the things we allow to happen to us.

You would question how much we like ourselves if you saw how we let people treat us. The decisions we make on a day to day basis say a lot about how we actually feel about ourselves.

Every year there are new resolutions being made. I’ve seen a lot of posts about 2020 being about loving ourselves. I pray that we all find the courage we require on a daily basis to love ourselves and to be the most important person in our lives.

Remember the airplanes: it is always advised to put your mask on first, because you can’t help anyone if you suffocate.

Same goes for the day to day grind: be sure to love yourself first, because you cannot love others if you suffocate.

Love yourself enough to start toady. I have the best intentions that this simple little post adds positive vibes to at least one person today.

Tag someone in the comments who you want to make smile.

Positive vibes for positive minds!

Thought exploration pt 2: maxing out emotions

In high school I remember we did an experiment with pancakes. The theory was that after the initial Pancake the pleasure of eating another would plateau. The pleasure would never be greater than the first pancake.

This got me thinking.

🤔

What if emotions are like this? Cause if we think about it it’s kind of related. We get excited about food. (Ok that’s a pretty general statement. I get excited about food lol). In the end it’s still an emotion. Excitement. After a while it’s just not as exciting anymore. We reach a limit. Then after we just work to reach that limit again but never surpass it.

What about happiness? Can happiness be maxed out? Can we reach a point where we no longer get “happier” but instead just maintain an ultimate level of happiness? Or do our best to return to that ultimate state of happiness?.

Or any emotion for that matter?

Sadness? The same? Can we get to a point with ourselves where the ultimate state of sadness is only maintained but never increased?

It makes sense to me. Because emotions are chemicals. I would think like any other chemicals we feed our bodies we eventually build a tolerance.

Just something I thought about. What do you think? Leave a comment below.

Before you quit: ch. 4

I’m in Vegas!! Well kind of. I’m not where all the action is. I’m at a truck stop with a prison next door lol. Not exactly what people picture when we say “Vegas.”

So I was having a little case of the blues earlier. Had been like that for a couple of days. Maybe I’m just lonely out here lol. Don’t judge me. Anyway, I cranked up a little motivational video as I usually do on YouTube and got to working out. Both of those combined always have a way of bringing the fight back out of me.

Listening to the video and working out got the mind juices flowing. I started to think of the crazy contrast I was in the mist of. Across the parking lot from me is a hotel and casino. Less than a mile to the left of it there’s a prison. I thought wow, in one place people may just be making the decision of a lifetime, and in the other some people are paying a lifetime for a decision.

It’s crazy how close these two worlds are yet how far apart they are at the same time. I used to think about that a lot when I was gone. I used to be out on the rec yard and see cars driving by on the highway in the distance and think: those people are heading to work, to school to a friends house. Completely oblivious to the world I’m in just a few miles away. I used to think about the life going on around me and imagine everything I was going to accomplish when I got out.

I still remember the fire I had burning inside of me when I finally made it home. I had it all planned out. If nothing else is true about what they tell you in prison this for sure is: plans change. They sure as hell did.

Here I am in this parking lot covered in dirt. My truck and trailer covered in dirt and I’m feeling sad. Depressed. Whatever you want to call it. And in the mist of my workout I’m pacing back and forth to catch my breath between sets and I stop to look over at the prison.

That was a big slap to the face. Like a wake up slap. Here I am sulking, thinking about the little things troubling me and just less than a mile away there are some people who would give anything just to be able to be covered in dirt in this parking lot again even if just for a day.

I thought: really? Like what problems or troubles could you possibly have that are “real” problems? None. There is nothing happening in my life currently or ever that can really ever be a real “problem” as long as I still have a chance. That’s it. Sure some fucked up things can happen. Sure I’ll feel pain. Things may get challenging but none of those are “problems.”

We may lose people along the way. We’ll lose opportunities. But as long as we still have a chance to accomplish our dreams, we’re still living. We don’t die until we stop chasing our dreams.

To borrow the words of the incredible Les Brown from this video I just heard:

“you either fight for what you want right now, or fight for what you don’t want later–but you fight!”

So maybe it’s just me? But maybe–just maybe there’s someone out there struggling to keep it together right now. Maybe someone out there financially, emotionally or physically is fighting to keep it together and is thinking about quitting. Giving up.

DON’T!!

The fight is the only thing you have left! It’s the glue that’s holding you together. If you quit now all of the fighting, all of the struggle and pain you’ve endured will have been for nothing.

I can’t promise you it gets easier cause it sure hasn’t for me. I can’t promise you you’re going to win either. But I can guarantee that if you do quit–you lose for sure.

I pray that whoever needed to read this did. All I want for everyone else is what I want for myself. Peace of mind and success beyond measure.

Love you all.

Positive vibes for positive minds

Thought exploration. Pt 1

Do you ever just stop to appreciate life? I got to the truck stop where I’m staying at tonight; and while I was walking my pup I stopped and enjoyed the fresh breeze against my face.

Lately while I’ve been driving I’ve gazed up at the sky and really just marveled at the structure of it all. It almost seems hard to believe it’s not all a program. The patterns in the clouds all so precise. The color of the sky with the light of the sun just at the right angle–then me in a truck all alone experiencing it.

I think sometimes of my life like a movie. Like the movie with Jim Carrey “The Truman Show.” Everything is staged. Every person you meet, every conversation you have every experience planned for effect.

Then reason pokes it’s head out: “It is all staged. It is a movie. Every experience created by the Devine. All one beautiful, intricate and chaotic pattern.” We call it life. We pass through it–but do we “live” it?

How much do we really know about life? What would we use as comparison to determine how much we know? If all we know so far–is what we know so far?

Does that make sense?

Like: we don’t know how much there is to know about life so we don’t even have a clue if we know anything at all? If we’re even close or in the general vicinity?!

What is the “Devine?” What is life?

I think about things like this daily. How beautiful and chaotic it all is. The thought that we’re all “one.” The “collective thought.”

What really amazes me is that so many people never stop to appreciate this all. Much less actually think/ask about life? The universe?

So I’m sitting here in the drivers seat of my pick up, just leaned back and thinking. While my pup snores in the passenger seat. How amazing it is to wonder.

Positive vibes for positive minds

A talk to remember

“Out of the tree of life I just picked me a plum…”

Frank Sinatra playing in the background.

I had a talk with a good friend and a mentor of mine a couple of days ago. My truck had broke down and I was joking about the rough day. So we get off into a conversation about the stress and challenge of being an entrepreneur.

We both met in prison. We’ve had hours of mentally stimulating conversations. He went on to tell me how the struggles and challenges we have as entrepreneurs are to be enjoyed.

He said “enjoy this bro–one day you’re going to miss it.”

And it’s true. As much as it may suck (or seem to) at times, it’s what gives life flavor. Eventually my new business will have all the kinks worked out and all the excitement of overcoming a start ups challenges will be gone. It will all be routine. Even down the line once I start a new business it won’t be the same. The beauty of all this magnificent chaos won’t be there any more. All the hurdles we’re jumping for the first time. All of the mistakes we’re making for the first time.

I’m glad I had that talk with him. Cause now I hear his words in the back of my mind everyday when something challenging happens: “enjoy it bro–one day you’ll miss it.” And I smile.

One day not to far away I’ll see my life and how great everything is going and I’ll look back and smile while I reminisce about how green I was. I’ll smile at how nervous or worried I was about whether or not I would make it. And I’m sure that at that point–I will miss it. I’ll miss the thrill. I’ll miss the pressure and the stress. I’ll look back and think about how naive the younger version of myself was and smile, thinking: ” he didn’t have a clue, but he pushed through. He didn’t know what he was doing but he never quit. He gave it everything he had–and I thank him for that.”

So in a sense this is to my future self. We’re here big guy–we’re in the ring and we’re throwing punches. We’re getting banged up and it’s not looking real pretty but we’re fighting!”

It’s like we say when we’re doing time “the worst day in the “free world” is still 100 times better than the best day in prison.”

Positive vibes for positive minds.

School of life

“Here we go again, same ol shit again. Marching down the avenue. Three more days and we’ll be through…”

If you’ve been in the army I’m sure you recognize this cadence. It’s crazy how on April 25, 2016 I got out of prison. April 29, 2010 I graduated OSUT in the army. Graduated out of Ft. Knox!! Great memories.

Its like my story is looping around. Started in the present and went back five years to just go back five more a day later. I picture it like an old movie reel (May have misspelled that). Like each little square of film is a different day in my history.

It’s easy to see how I shake so much off with a smile after I start to think of what I’ve been through. Not that I’ve been through a great deal but I have been tested. I’ve been pushed. Most of all I have overcome. So it really doesn’t make sense to let little things get to me now. I believe that’s called maturity? Maybe being at peace?

So I’ve been on a roll with my new company on the transportation industry. Hot shot trucking to be exact. Started on the 16th of this month and we’ve been rocking and rolling since. I’m grateful.

Just as we’re really starting to pick up wind though–old man failure pokes his today head back out. Another test.

My truck is out of commission on the side of the road near San Angelo, Texas. Hub bearings in both driver and passenger side front wheels need to be changed.

So I could be bummed about it. Naturally though–I smiled. Let out a nice long “fuuuuuck” and laughed. How come? Cause I see this as a sign. A sign I’m on the right track and if I can push pass these little tests then big rewards are coming.

When you’re chasing your dreams tests will present themselves on all types of forms. The greater the dream the more tests you’ll have to endure.

It’s almost like life tests you to make you stronger to be ready for the level of success we’re destined for. Like lifting weights I guess? You add weight little by little until finally you reach the weight you were aiming for.

So today I just added a little weight to my bar. And we’re pushing. Maybe my next test will be what to do with all of the money I make? Lol

Learn to laugh at life’s difficulties and the harder life gets the happier you’ll be.

Positive vibes for positive minds

Before you quit: ch. 3

Today’s the day!! April 25, 2019! Three years a free man. It’s amazing how life turns out. So today has been pretty interesting. I started my day in Cortez, Colorado. Drove down to Albuquerque, New Mexico and now I’m in Texas. These past few days have been incredible. I drove through the Rockies, saw the beautiful plateaus in Utah, ran over a prairie dog my pup playboy ate a grass hopper.

In my defense the prairie dog jumped in front of the tire. We weren’t even on the same side of the road. In all honesty I think he just wanted to go. Maybe he had holes in different area codes? Lol. Maybe he couldn’t find the hole? Hahaha. Ok ok I’m done. Geez.

It’s really just the beginning of a lot more to come for me. It’s definitely been a wild and rocky ride so far. Fortunately I have amazing people in my corner that keep patching me up and sending me back into the fight.

Sometimes I feel like Rocky and life is the Russian!

It always seems so much easier in hindsight. It isn’t always easy. Most of the time if you’re chasing something worth having it never is. People aren’t always going to cheer you on either. I remember one time when I was still “tucked” away in prison. This lady guard saw me reading, walked up to me and said: “I don’t get how come you inmates spend so much time reading and studying? When y’all get out y’all aren’t going to do anything with it. Y’all are always just going to be inmates.” And she walked away.

I didn’t say anything. I did what I usually do when I hear something I don’t entirely agree with or when I cross paths with someone who isn’t at peace with life. I smiled and gave a nod.

Truth is a lot of guards give us crap. We’re put down constantly. Harassed. Tested. On top of knowing we made a mistake. On top of knowing we hurt the people who love us and who we love most. On top of knowing we let ourselves down. On top of being away from home and family. On top of horrible living conditions. Sharing a steel warehouse with 49 other inmates. Not everyone has the mental fortitude to go through all that shit and still smile everyday. Still wish people a good day.

I’ve really done my best to not hold any resentment. Mainly because everything I’ve experienced in life has taught me something. Everything has been a lesson. I remember everything I’ve been through. Everything I saw and heard as an “inmate.” I use it as fuel for my fire. To show that not every person who comes out of prison is a piece of shit, we’re not garbage. For anyone reading this who has ever been put down, who has ever made a mistake and most of all who has ever been to prison. That shit doesn’t define you. How you shake back from it does! The best thing we can do to make a difference isn’t get mad. It isn’t protesting outside of prisons or in the streets. It’s protesting without having to use words. Let your success be your protest. Let your character be your protest. Let the shock that people feel when they find out you’ve been in prison and say “I would have never guessed” be your protest. Be the difference.

April 25, 2016. The big day.

Up until the last minute we were getting instructions. “Be sure to report within 24 hours or a blue warrant will be issued for your arrest.” “Don’t stop anywhere on your way home if you’re on this monitor or a blue warrant will be issued for your arrest.”

“Geez, not necessarily setting us up for success here”, I thought.

It didn’t matter. In a few more minutes I would be done with this place for good. I changed out of my dirty prison clothes and changed into the equivalent civilian clothes. It smelled just like the prison uniform lol. Whatever. Just on the other side of these walls my family was waiting for me–with my suit and a pack of smokes.

Aaah the smell of the air on the other side of the prison walls just felt fresher. (If fresher was a word.)

There they were. My family.I hugged them while still in disbelief that I was actually free. I kept looking at the prison and it was surreal. Just a few minutes ago I was on the other side.

It was that easy. Just step through the door and your life changes. A few feet of concrete is all that separates these two worlds. It’s amazing how in just minutes you can go from being a prisoner to being a free man. And at the same time in just a few minutes we can go from being free men to being prisoners.

The next chapter…

Positive vibes for positive minds