Live on fire!

It all comes back to liking yourself. Your “self”. The inner you. I know so many of us preach that money isn’t happiness. That’s definitely not what I’m preaching! I love money! I think money is an amazing tool and more good people need to be rich!

I think what the quote is getting at is that if it doesn’t set your soul on fire it’s an empty deed and we cant get full off of empty deeds. No matter how many of them you do.

Maybe for you it’s not about money? Maybe for you it’s not about a career or settling down and having a family.

Society will say something about a persons chosen lifestyle regardless. Interesting to note though: society isn’t looking so hot itself, and like in every other aspect of life: we shouldn’t take advice from people who don’t have what we want.

In other words: let society talk. Let others judge. You make the choices that make YOU happy, because at the end of the day no matter what, no matter where, no matter who–you have to live with yourself.

Your tribe will always find you. Even people who like ketchup on their eggs have a group (wink)

P.S. I like ketchup on my eggs! and pineapple on my pizza!!

Positive vibes for positive minds!

Before you quit: ch. 4

I’m in Vegas!! Well kind of. I’m not where all the action is. I’m at a truck stop with a prison next door lol. Not exactly what people picture when we say “Vegas.”

So I was having a little case of the blues earlier. Had been like that for a couple of days. Maybe I’m just lonely out here lol. Don’t judge me. Anyway, I cranked up a little motivational video as I usually do on YouTube and got to working out. Both of those combined always have a way of bringing the fight back out of me.

Listening to the video and working out got the mind juices flowing. I started to think of the crazy contrast I was in the mist of. Across the parking lot from me is a hotel and casino. Less than a mile to the left of it there’s a prison. I thought wow, in one place people may just be making the decision of a lifetime, and in the other some people are paying a lifetime for a decision.

It’s crazy how close these two worlds are yet how far apart they are at the same time. I used to think about that a lot when I was gone. I used to be out on the rec yard and see cars driving by on the highway in the distance and think: those people are heading to work, to school to a friends house. Completely oblivious to the world I’m in just a few miles away. I used to think about the life going on around me and imagine everything I was going to accomplish when I got out.

I still remember the fire I had burning inside of me when I finally made it home. I had it all planned out. If nothing else is true about what they tell you in prison this for sure is: plans change. They sure as hell did.

Here I am in this parking lot covered in dirt. My truck and trailer covered in dirt and I’m feeling sad. Depressed. Whatever you want to call it. And in the mist of my workout I’m pacing back and forth to catch my breath between sets and I stop to look over at the prison.

That was a big slap to the face. Like a wake up slap. Here I am sulking, thinking about the little things troubling me and just less than a mile away there are some people who would give anything just to be able to be covered in dirt in this parking lot again even if just for a day.

I thought: really? Like what problems or troubles could you possibly have that are “real” problems? None. There is nothing happening in my life currently or ever that can really ever be a real “problem” as long as I still have a chance. That’s it. Sure some fucked up things can happen. Sure I’ll feel pain. Things may get challenging but none of those are “problems.”

We may lose people along the way. We’ll lose opportunities. But as long as we still have a chance to accomplish our dreams, we’re still living. We don’t die until we stop chasing our dreams.

To borrow the words of the incredible Les Brown from this video I just heard:

“you either fight for what you want right now, or fight for what you don’t want later–but you fight!”

So maybe it’s just me? But maybe–just maybe there’s someone out there struggling to keep it together right now. Maybe someone out there financially, emotionally or physically is fighting to keep it together and is thinking about quitting. Giving up.


The fight is the only thing you have left! It’s the glue that’s holding you together. If you quit now all of the fighting, all of the struggle and pain you’ve endured will have been for nothing.

I can’t promise you it gets easier cause it sure hasn’t for me. I can’t promise you you’re going to win either. But I can guarantee that if you do quit–you lose for sure.

I pray that whoever needed to read this did. All I want for everyone else is what I want for myself. Peace of mind and success beyond measure.

Love you all.

Positive vibes for positive minds

Thought exploration. Pt 1

Do you ever just stop to appreciate life? I got to the truck stop where I’m staying at tonight; and while I was walking my pup I stopped and enjoyed the fresh breeze against my face.

Lately while I’ve been driving I’ve gazed up at the sky and really just marveled at the structure of it all. It almost seems hard to believe it’s not all a program. The patterns in the clouds all so precise. The color of the sky with the light of the sun just at the right angle–then me in a truck all alone experiencing it.

I think sometimes of my life like a movie. Like the movie with Jim Carrey “The Truman Show.” Everything is staged. Every person you meet, every conversation you have every experience planned for effect.

Then reason pokes it’s head out: “It is all staged. It is a movie. Every experience created by the Devine. All one beautiful, intricate and chaotic pattern.” We call it life. We pass through it–but do we “live” it?

How much do we really know about life? What would we use as comparison to determine how much we know? If all we know so far–is what we know so far?

Does that make sense?

Like: we don’t know how much there is to know about life so we don’t even have a clue if we know anything at all? If we’re even close or in the general vicinity?!

What is the “Devine?” What is life?

I think about things like this daily. How beautiful and chaotic it all is. The thought that we’re all “one.” The “collective thought.”

What really amazes me is that so many people never stop to appreciate this all. Much less actually think/ask about life? The universe?

So I’m sitting here in the drivers seat of my pick up, just leaned back and thinking. While my pup snores in the passenger seat. How amazing it is to wonder.

Positive vibes for positive minds

A talk to remember

“Out of the tree of life I just picked me a plum…”

Frank Sinatra playing in the background.

I had a talk with a good friend and a mentor of mine a couple of days ago. My truck had broke down and I was joking about the rough day. So we get off into a conversation about the stress and challenge of being an entrepreneur.

We both met in prison. We’ve had hours of mentally stimulating conversations. He went on to tell me how the struggles and challenges we have as entrepreneurs are to be enjoyed.

He said “enjoy this bro–one day you’re going to miss it.”

And it’s true. As much as it may suck (or seem to) at times, it’s what gives life flavor. Eventually my new business will have all the kinks worked out and all the excitement of overcoming a start ups challenges will be gone. It will all be routine. Even down the line once I start a new business it won’t be the same. The beauty of all this magnificent chaos won’t be there any more. All the hurdles we’re jumping for the first time. All of the mistakes we’re making for the first time.

I’m glad I had that talk with him. Cause now I hear his words in the back of my mind everyday when something challenging happens: “enjoy it bro–one day you’ll miss it.” And I smile.

One day not to far away I’ll see my life and how great everything is going and I’ll look back and smile while I reminisce about how green I was. I’ll smile at how nervous or worried I was about whether or not I would make it. And I’m sure that at that point–I will miss it. I’ll miss the thrill. I’ll miss the pressure and the stress. I’ll look back and think about how naive the younger version of myself was and smile, thinking: ” he didn’t have a clue, but he pushed through. He didn’t know what he was doing but he never quit. He gave it everything he had–and I thank him for that.”

So in a sense this is to my future self. We’re here big guy–we’re in the ring and we’re throwing punches. We’re getting banged up and it’s not looking real pretty but we’re fighting!”

It’s like we say when we’re doing time “the worst day in the “free world” is still 100 times better than the best day in prison.”

Positive vibes for positive minds.

School of life

“Here we go again, same ol shit again. Marching down the avenue. Three more days and we’ll be through…”

If you’ve been in the army I’m sure you recognize this cadence. It’s crazy how on April 25, 2016 I got out of prison. April 29, 2010 I graduated OSUT in the army. Graduated out of Ft. Knox!! Great memories.

Its like my story is looping around. Started in the present and went back five years to just go back five more a day later. I picture it like an old movie reel (May have misspelled that). Like each little square of film is a different day in my history.

It’s easy to see how I shake so much off with a smile after I start to think of what I’ve been through. Not that I’ve been through a great deal but I have been tested. I’ve been pushed. Most of all I have overcome. So it really doesn’t make sense to let little things get to me now. I believe that’s called maturity? Maybe being at peace?

So I’ve been on a roll with my new company on the transportation industry. Hot shot trucking to be exact. Started on the 16th of this month and we’ve been rocking and rolling since. I’m grateful.

Just as we’re really starting to pick up wind though–old man failure pokes his today head back out. Another test.

My truck is out of commission on the side of the road near San Angelo, Texas. Hub bearings in both driver and passenger side front wheels need to be changed.

So I could be bummed about it. Naturally though–I smiled. Let out a nice long “fuuuuuck” and laughed. How come? Cause I see this as a sign. A sign I’m on the right track and if I can push pass these little tests then big rewards are coming.

When you’re chasing your dreams tests will present themselves on all types of forms. The greater the dream the more tests you’ll have to endure.

It’s almost like life tests you to make you stronger to be ready for the level of success we’re destined for. Like lifting weights I guess? You add weight little by little until finally you reach the weight you were aiming for.

So today I just added a little weight to my bar. And we’re pushing. Maybe my next test will be what to do with all of the money I make? Lol

Learn to laugh at life’s difficulties and the harder life gets the happier you’ll be.

Positive vibes for positive minds

Before you quit: ch. 3

Today’s the day!! April 25, 2019! Three years a free man. It’s amazing how life turns out. So today has been pretty interesting. I started my day in Cortez, Colorado. Drove down to Albuquerque, New Mexico and now I’m in Texas. These past few days have been incredible. I drove through the Rockies, saw the beautiful plateaus in Utah, ran over a prairie dog my pup playboy ate a grass hopper.

In my defense the prairie dog jumped in front of the tire. We weren’t even on the same side of the road. In all honesty I think he just wanted to go. Maybe he had holes in different area codes? Lol. Maybe he couldn’t find the hole? Hahaha. Ok ok I’m done. Geez.

It’s really just the beginning of a lot more to come for me. It’s definitely been a wild and rocky ride so far. Fortunately I have amazing people in my corner that keep patching me up and sending me back into the fight.

Sometimes I feel like Rocky and life is the Russian!

It always seems so much easier in hindsight. It isn’t always easy. Most of the time if you’re chasing something worth having it never is. People aren’t always going to cheer you on either. I remember one time when I was still “tucked” away in prison. This lady guard saw me reading, walked up to me and said: “I don’t get how come you inmates spend so much time reading and studying? When y’all get out y’all aren’t going to do anything with it. Y’all are always just going to be inmates.” And she walked away.

I didn’t say anything. I did what I usually do when I hear something I don’t entirely agree with or when I cross paths with someone who isn’t at peace with life. I smiled and gave a nod.

Truth is a lot of guards give us crap. We’re put down constantly. Harassed. Tested. On top of knowing we made a mistake. On top of knowing we hurt the people who love us and who we love most. On top of knowing we let ourselves down. On top of being away from home and family. On top of horrible living conditions. Sharing a steel warehouse with 49 other inmates. Not everyone has the mental fortitude to go through all that shit and still smile everyday. Still wish people a good day.

I’ve really done my best to not hold any resentment. Mainly because everything I’ve experienced in life has taught me something. Everything has been a lesson. I remember everything I’ve been through. Everything I saw and heard as an “inmate.” I use it as fuel for my fire. To show that not every person who comes out of prison is a piece of shit, we’re not garbage. For anyone reading this who has ever been put down, who has ever made a mistake and most of all who has ever been to prison. That shit doesn’t define you. How you shake back from it does! The best thing we can do to make a difference isn’t get mad. It isn’t protesting outside of prisons or in the streets. It’s protesting without having to use words. Let your success be your protest. Let your character be your protest. Let the shock that people feel when they find out you’ve been in prison and say “I would have never guessed” be your protest. Be the difference.

April 25, 2016. The big day.

Up until the last minute we were getting instructions. “Be sure to report within 24 hours or a blue warrant will be issued for your arrest.” “Don’t stop anywhere on your way home if you’re on this monitor or a blue warrant will be issued for your arrest.”

“Geez, not necessarily setting us up for success here”, I thought.

It didn’t matter. In a few more minutes I would be done with this place for good. I changed out of my dirty prison clothes and changed into the equivalent civilian clothes. It smelled just like the prison uniform lol. Whatever. Just on the other side of these walls my family was waiting for me–with my suit and a pack of smokes.

Aaah the smell of the air on the other side of the prison walls just felt fresher. (If fresher was a word.)

There they were. My family.I hugged them while still in disbelief that I was actually free. I kept looking at the prison and it was surreal. Just a few minutes ago I was on the other side.

It was that easy. Just step through the door and your life changes. A few feet of concrete is all that separates these two worlds. It’s amazing how in just minutes you can go from being a prisoner to being a free man. And at the same time in just a few minutes we can go from being free men to being prisoners.

The next chapter…

Positive vibes for positive minds

Before you quit: ch. 2

April 24, 2019. I’m in Cortez, Colorado. Really nice small town with an amazing view. Sweet old man bought me a mint chocolate and gave me a pat on the back. Endearing. Not a bad way to end the day.

So I’m living in my truck. Not like a big rig, but a pick up truck. Sounds worse than it is. These days though 23,24,25 of April really get me thinking. I really don’t believe in coincidence. I’m out on the road exploring the country, seeing the most beautiful places–all for the first time on these dates? That didn’t happen on accident. The living in my truck part really just makes me smile and think some more. Makes me think about how I ended up here, in the back seat of a truck, with my pup. Adventuring.

Three years. That’s the measuring point for convicted felons. Usually if you make it three years there’s a good chance you’re not going back. I’m one day away from my three year mark.

April 24, 2016. Houston, Texas. I’m in my cell. Still haven’t slept. I have one day and a wake up and I’m done with this shit show. I get called out for showers around 5 am. I shuffle on over to the showers with about 100 other guys. Exciting right? No.

It’s cold. They give us a shirt to dry off with. No towel. I get my new, fresh pair of dirty uniform and mosey on back to my cage. Chow comes. It’s nothing great. Pork noodle casserole. Pretty much everyone’s least favorite meal lol.

I’m not here though. The whole time while I’m walking I see the guys on the rec yard. In the chow hall. I see the guards. Their attitude. But I’m not here. They are. I’m somewhere else. I left this place a long time ago. Mentally. Now, finally, I was leaving physically.

As I look around though, I can’t help but think–“these guys will all be here when I’m gone, doing the same thing, living the same day. Over and over again.” I think of all the good people I met over the years. I think of all the years I’ve spent living this same life.

One more day…

Positive vibes for positive minds

Jesus take the wheel…

A common statement sometimes used in a joking manner sometimes being serious. I don’t necessarily agree with the idea though.

People leave things in the hands of God and expect things to work out for the best but trusting in God has to be like driving a car. You trust God is going to help you get to where you need to go but if you’re not holding that wheel you’re going to crash. You have to be actively driving your car just like you have to be actively living your life. Living on purpose. If you’re not actively pursuing your success, you’re going to crash.

So have Faith, trust reason, whatever your practice or belief. Whatever you want to call it. Just be active! Trust the process but work the plan!!

Love y’all

Positive vibes for positive minds

Provocative thought?

The only things in life that matter are the things that matter to you. Ever thought about that?

In the end it’s all relative to your goals. Everything in life is a matter of choice. You choose what’s important to you. If being fit isn’t a goal of yours then working out and eating healthy probably aren’t very high on your list of priorities.

Some people say we “need” to do this, or we “need” to do that. Really, we don’t “need” to do anything. Hell you don’t even need to breathe if you don’t want to. Even life is a choice.

At the end of the day you’re either going to be closer or farther away from your goals. It is all subject to the choices you make throughout the day.

Be the captain of your own destiny and be happy. You don’t need to do anything, you choose to do it. I pray that you will choose to be free from people who are afraid to live and will do those things that make you happy; like putting ketchup on eggs, or pineapple on pizza. Go crazy–why not?

“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t–you’re right”. –some person

Positive vibes for positive minds

Love y’all.